Perspective

Sometimes all it takes for you to think another way is someone else's point of view.

I was talking to my one and only female friend (you may call her The Princess) about my favorite mistake. My favorite mistake is this guy I dated about 7 years ago. He's the one and only man I've ever seriously considered marriage for. He taught me everything I ever wanted to know about sex (but was afraid to ask, ha ha) and he's the first guy I ever felt completely secure with, he never made me feel like there was anything he didn't like or would change about me. We never had any serious fights, just serious talks. We were together for 5 years, went through hell and back relationship wise and it ended with me feeling emotionally battered. I convinced myself that the whole relationship happened because I was young, gullible, and eager to please. That things only went down the way they did because I let them. And of course I swore I would never be that silly little girl again.

From time to time, my favorite mistake resurfaces. Usually unexpectedly, catching me off guard. Instead of hanging up the phone or telling him to catch fire and burn, I always give him the time of day. Like he deserves it. It sounds sappy and weak, but when I hear his voice or see his face I feel powerless. I want him all over again. In my head I'm thinking "be mean to him, hurt his feelings". Instead I find myself smiling, laughing at his same old jokes, reminiscing about how cool things used to be between us.

He inevitably suggests that we should be together again. That things could be as cool as they used to be, even cooler because now we're both more mature and ready to take things seriously. And I find myself considering it, every time.

I asked The Princess, "Why him? Why is he the only one I can't seem to shake off. Any other ex either gets the boot or lands securely in 'the friend zone' never to return"

She says, "It's easy, he's the love of your life. He was supposed to be 'The One' and it's not unreasonable that you have a hard time letting that go".

I honestly never thought of him that way until she said it out loud and as much as I hate to admit it, she's right.

While we're not getting back together-- I'm not THAT weak-- I feel like less of a punk for letting him hang around in my life, now that she put it in perspective.

Thanks Princess. :-)