Jugs-a-poppin'

Mom took me to get a professional bra fitting last weekend (I had no idea there was such a thing) because I kept complaining that "the girls" weren't as perky as I thought they should be.

The sign in the store said 95% of women wear the wrong size bra. I hate to be wrong, so I assumed I wasn't one of them. I've had these cans since I was 12, so I just figured time and gravity was having it's way with me.

I couldn't have been more wrong. First the lady measures me, I found out that I'm 36 inches around. This made me feel good because I had been wearing a 42--I was a whole six inches off.
Then she estimates my cup size to be an H. I had been wearing a DD. Hearing that I had gone up a whole 4 letters of the of the alphabet was disheartening. See, I was teased relentlessly as a kid, by both girls and boys, and finding out I was even bigger than I previously thought made me feel like some kind of circus freak.

Anyway, H cups didn't work. Still too small. After a little trial and error we find the perfect fit, a 36HH. As in "Hella Huge". I thought I was gonna cry until I glimpsed myself in the mirror.

Wow, they look great. Finally up where they're supposed to be, and is it just me or do they look smaller?? I look smaller, like I instantly lost 5 pounds. I'm lifted AND seperated. Cool. I tried on clothes when I got home, all my button down shirts and dresses fit better. The nifty slogans on my favorite T-shirts are in the center of the shirt where they should be. My running workouts no longer require a bra, a sports bra and a fitted tank top. My bounces and jiggles have been replaced by a steadfast firmness. Guess what else, no more back fat!!

The downside of all this is I haven't been able to find a bra in my correct size that costs less than $50. I guess you get what you pay for.

The moral of the story is, if you're a woman (or a post-op transexual) you're probably wearing the wrong size bra. Go get fitted and "the girls" will thank you for it.

*Aww, thanks girls. I love you too.*