Crazy Dreams

I had two really weird dreams last night.

First, I'm at this club, and Kanye West shows up. He's looking for girls with "real breasts" for his next video. He looks at me and asks "You interested?". I say, "No, not really." He's says, "Are yours real?". I say, " Yeah". He jumps up on the bar pointing at me sayin' "This is what I'm talkin' 'bout people, 100% natural, no silicone, no plastic." At this point I'm totally embarrassed and try to leave the bar, but he follows me to door, asking questions about my breasts and trying to touch them. Finally, he's like " I gotta see 'em." and tries to lift up my shirt (which seemed to be about 3 sizes too small). I'm like, "Dude!!! you are so out of order right now." He apologizes and says "You a cool chick, Imma see if i can swing you". I had no idea what this meant but soon discovered that it meant he was literally gonna swing me around, like a tossed midget or something. Anyway, he reels back and throws me into the air, I land on a chair in the lobby of the club. Then i woke up.

WTF???

Ok, next dream. I'm in the basement of my grandfather's house, getting ready to go to sleep. When I hear someone ring the doorbell. I go upstairs to see whose car is out front, I see a Red Nova--don't know whose car it is, so I wait at the top of the stairs to see if anyone else heard the doorbell. My grandfather gets up, he looks at me, doesn't say anything and goes about the house collecting weapons-swords, guns, knives, and a box of club-sized bats labled "wife beaters. "My mom grabs a "wife beater", I grab a "wife beater" and a knife and go back downstairs. I look out the basement window and see a guy who appears to be dressed as 'The Scorpion King' with a large sword and a bow stalking around my grandparents back yard looking for a way in. I get scared and go around the house closing all the curtains. My grandfather is sitting in his chair in the living room loading a shotgun. Then I woke up.


Again, WTF?? The Scorpion King?? I've never even seen that movie. And why was he driving a Red Nova? LOL!

I have no reasonable translation for either of these.