Him

He makes me want to be a better person.

I know, it's corny, it's cliche-- but it's exactly how I feel about the man who is not my boyfriend.

He is, in a word, amazing. He makes me laugh, he makes me think, and he's taught me more than he'll probably ever know. He incredibly smart, funny, driven, and so completely confident sometimes I wonder where he got his giant ego--but he's never conceited.

He tells me to go back to school, to not eat meat, and to stop being such a punk. LOL. And I've listened to every piece of advice he's ever given me. Now, I don't always follow his words, but I always, always listen.

He shows up in my dreams so often it's become commonplace for me to see him there. He makes me look forward to dreaming.

Funny thing is, I've never really seen his face. I've seen pictures and heard his voice on the phone, but we've never met in person.

I sound obsessed right? In a way, I am, and have been from the first day we talked. But...I've let so many things come between us. The distance, the time, and my own horrible lack of self-confidence. Over time, I have convinced myself that I could never be anything he needed. I even worry that the friendship we have could be ruined by an in person meeting--like I could never live up to any expectation he has of me. Thing is, I don't really know what he expects, or if he has any expectations at all.

Am I being silly? Over anxious? Way too emotional?

Probably.